a box of pills, and a little gold.

shortphrases

add that if you want to. im not going to be writing in this one anymore. 

i love everyone and i miss most of everyone.

im living in oregon now. the past 5 days have been spectacular. its odd becuase im so used to going to portland then coming home after a few days. so knowing that im not is fantastic. weve spent the past few days applying for jobs and exploring shit. downtown is were weve spent the majority of our time. its wierd becuase were both so outgoing yet we are too shy to make new friends. were both going to have to suck it up and let that shyness go i guess. i miss home though. were going to have to get home sick before we can completely start loving it here though. its more about me missing a few people. the boys, lizz, charlene, ect. ill see them soon though.

were leaving for hawaii tuesday morning. i cant wait.

:)

nothing is really happening for me right now.
the one thing im excited for right now though is hawaii.
amanda and i are going to be there for 10 days straight.

then we will be back, and ill be back to where i am right now.

maybe ill figure it out. i really hope so.

I NEED A JOB NOW!

were  feeling a lot better, just really sore.

i have a new number too: 253-306-8529

call me or text me.

last night  scared and shocked the shit out of me

i appriciate life so much more now

 the past few days ive been thinking about everything like crazy. mostly about myself and how i feel about everything thats going on. ive just been thinking about what im like when im by myself. i dont really feel like...anything. for most people, even when youre alone, you dont really feel completely ALONE. for me its different. its really wierd and hard to explain, but i dont know. i guess i just dont really know who i am, so im nervous to be alone. 

i sound like a nut job.

ive also been thinking about the last week, and how crappy it was. ryan came from california and a lot of shit went down. we no longer have eachother in our lives and its a really sucky feeling. he was one person that i always counted on, could talk to about anything. i held him so high, and love him so much. he said some stuff that really hit me hard though. he isnt the person i thought he would be, but i guess it was the situation he was in. either way, i cant have that kind of shit in my life anymore. ive been through a lot of crazy friendships and ive found the ones that i can really say i will have in my life forever and thats all that matters to me right now.

right now im in puyallup at my dads house eating a frozen asian dinner, and im not having a good time at all. i dont feel like im apart of his life anymore at all. whatever, maybe im wrong.

i have no idea why im complaining so much. it could be a lot worse.
i know i have a great life, and im very greatful for that.
i just need to keep my chin up.

fuck fuck fuck.

my birthday is in six days damn it!

the past week was good and bad.

ryan came from fresno, and that was interesting. it was a very stressful situation. im happy he came, yes, but it was all just very stressful. wrong timing? im not too sure.

yesterday whittney, adam, amanda, blake, and myself went to lake chelan. that was tons of fun.

summer is almost over.
ill be 20 in a week.

were looking for a house up here somewhere.
im excited for everything.

amanda and i move to oregon in 7 days.

PICTURE

more later.

this is new.